Thinking back and pondering on the past year and also on the differences in my life since that day in February 2009 when we moved to this "strange to us" land. My, how things have changed since then and in the last year. Some good...some bad....some sad disappointments....some great joys...different seasons of life....phases of growth and new family dynamics....kind of overwhelming when you look at it as a whole. Good thing that the Lord just asks us to deal with one day at a time....
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| Clara surrounded by suitcases, the day we arrived in Argentina |
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| My Baby Clara, February 18, 2009 |
When we arrived in Argentina...
I was
not cocky, thinking that I knew everything and storming in here with a squirt gun to save the lost and rid the world of evil...
on the contrary, I will rather sheepishly admit the truth...I was scared to death! My whole world was turned upside down, having left everything I had ever known and most of what I loved and held dear, too.
Thankfully, my 2 most precious treasures, Matt and Clara, were there beside me all the way. I know I never would have made it through those first few lonely months without them.
Often, I remember thinking, "I don't want to even go outside...what if someone says something to me...I don't understand these people and I am going to be so embarrassed and make a big fool out of myself."
I remember those first Spanish classes, there was a whole lot of Spanish that went flying quicker than lightning right over my head. I felt as I were drowning in a great big sea of mixed up mumbo-jumbo, and I could NOT keep my head above the water for anything. So much frustration and so many tears back then. Aching to communicate and to feel like someone cared. I knew, I mean I KNEW, that God was there and that we were doing the right thing. I even knew that this was all par for the course, but that didn't make it any easier or less lonely.
Never will I forget coming home that very first time from the grocery store; Matt and I were both shell-shocked and physically and emotionally
wiped out! I remember thinking, "Is every shopping trip going to be as stressful and nerve-racking as this one?" Aisle after aisle, label after label, barely catching a word here and there...such frustration to do what one thinks of as such a simple, non-thinking thing. Wheew!
Among lots and lots of other changes, I have found that it is the little, everyday things that sometimes take the most getting used to, as they so often catch me unaware. Big things are somehow more expected, I guess.
More recently...
In February, after what seemed like a long
2 years of pregnancy, my Ethan was brought into this world, healthy and full of life. He has definitely been my biggest blessing {and challenge} of the year. What a change he has brought into my life! He is the spittin' image of his sister, yet ALL BOY! He is so handsome and immediately stole his mama's ♥. He has brought such joy and fulfillment to our lives and I thank the Lord for him and his sweet smiles everyday. I love to think about how God prepares a mother's heart especially for her darling child and molds their relationship into something amazing. My ♥ is knit to those of my dear "babies" and I want to raise them as faithful servants of the King.
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| Newborn Ethan Matthew |
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| February 16, 2010 |
This past April, God allowed my kiddos and I to stay behind in Argentina while my hubby traveled to the states to be the best man in his brother's wedding and take care of paperwork for us. It was a difficult time, feeling somewhat trapped in my own home, with 2 munchkins depending fully on me, and wishing that I was with hubby, seeing all the fam., showing off my new precious bundle and my ever growing sweetie pie. But, it was not to be. Now I can look back, and although it would be easy to keep asking "Why, Lord?", I know that God used that time of testing in my life to teach me many things. I learned that I must rely on Him and Him alone for my safety and that I can be strong and independent when I need to be. This experience, though difficult, brought me closer to my Lord. Doesn't it often work that way?
As for the Here and Now...
No, things are not perfect, I still have my days, and my ups and downs {let's face it, if you are part of the female race, so do you!}
But, there have definitely been improvements.
One of the biggest things has been the ability to speak {albeit clumsily}. Who would have ever thought that I would have trouble getting words to come out of my mouth? I am rarely at a loss for words and they usually come in an over abundance and quite quickly, too. Spanish is a whole other story, I think until recently people down here thought I was pretty quiet. HA! Little did they know...they are starting to find out! It's still frustrating at times and I miss my opportunity or chicken out at times, but at least I know what's going on around me and feel much more a part of the group. I am 27, not a little kid anymore, but still want to feel accepted and a part of things. Guess that never changes.
Also, this year has been a great growing experience in working in the church. Between singing in choir, helping in nursery, doing bulletin boards, and teaching 0-3 year old Sunday School {right on my level!}, it has been so good to get involved and watch the Lord work
inspite of me. Learning a new language is such a humbling experience, and has taught me to rely on the Lord and his strength so much more and for the "simple" things. {Not so simple in another language}. Plus, this year those things have been coming a bit easier, and I just can't wait to see how things continue to progress and what other doors of service will open for me this year. I know that the Lord is stretching me and molding me, and my desire is to be a more suitable vessel for Him in 2011.
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| Our family now, December 26, 2010 |
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| My Big Girl Clara |
May we all have a productive 2011, serving the Lord!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
